In his book "Tuesdays With Morrie," author Mitch Album writes about the time he spent with a former college professor who suffered from ALS and the lessons he learned from the dying. According to Morrie, the way you put meaning in your life is to devote yourself to loving others, the community around you and a devotion to something that gives you purpose.
My grandson will probably not recall the summer he spent with Mimi when the pandemic of 2020 shut all life down as we know it. But Mimi will certainly remember it. Today was the last Wednesday for my grandson and I as I return to school next week. It is just as well, he moved into the two-year-old class at daycare and I can tell he misses interacting with the other toddlers, his buds.
Under 'normal' circumstances if I agreed to provide care for my grandson we would not be confined to home and the surrounding area. As I did with my own two daughters at this age we would set out each day for Legoland, Disney World, a museum, a park, the beach or a movie theater. Alas, grandson and I had to get creative this summer. Although I tried to provide 'teachable moments' for my grandson, inevitably he ended up teaching me far more than I taught him.
Cows for instance; cows are way cool creatures! We live in the middle of a working cattle ranch which means I can step out the front door or the back and feed cows. At the beginning of the summer we went on our daily cow walk, a bag of cow cubes (purchased at the Dundee Feed Store 50 LB/$10) slung over the stroller handle. Grandson was like a miniature Gen. Patton marshaling his troops as he toddled up and down the fence, jabbering away and gesticulating with his tiny hands. What was he saying? Who knows! It was apparent however he was giving the herd instructions. I learned the bovine beasts are very gentle creatures - smelly and snotty but gentle - as they risk sticking their necks through the barbed wire to deftly take a cow cube from a toddlers hand.
I learned the therapeutic value of plucking cypress tree seed pods from the branches, handing them to Grandson, who triumphantly threw them in the pond...one, after, the, other....and blowing bubbles out over the pond then watching the transparent orbs drift slowly down to touch the water, floating briefly before they popped on the surface. Sticks are another item that Grandson likes to gather then throw in the pond.
Grandson loves watching any type of heavy machinery; dump trucks, mowers, back hoes, the trash truck (Monday/Tuesday) and the tree trimmers. One day a tree trimmer was in the subdivision; I grabbed a lawn chair, put Grandson in the stroller and we sat across the street watching the machine slice down branches then feed them into the jaws of the mulching machine. Grandson didn't utter a peep for over an hour, he watched in rapt fascination. Same with the back hoe that dug out a new canal (and found a nest of snakes which further piqued Grandson's interest!). Watching men and machines at work is truly better than most TV...its very satisfying to see the end result.
I learned dragonflies are fascinating, squirrels (hurls) are crazy, birds are everywhere and noisy, baby Sandhill cranes grow very fast, lizards like the direct sun, and dirt is a key component in making little boys happy. Add water to the dirt and it is Nirvana; especially when Gramps is working outside too. The splash pad is fun, but its better to practice swimming in the pool.
I learned that Goldfish (the cracker) and Teddy Grahams are in themselves a food group. Lunch is best enjoyed while watching 'The Greatest Showman' with Hugh Jackman ( *sigh*). Breakfast on the other hand is best enjoyed while listening to counting songs by Cocomelon. I learned that schedules are great but sometimes 'what happens at Mimi's, stays at Mimi's.' My daughter did an unbelievable job 'sleep training' this kid; all I had to do was say, 'It's time for a nap,' and he toddled into the bedroom where I keep the Pac n Play for his nap. No fuss. Amazing!
Quarantine was tolerable because every morning my Grandson would toddle through the door with a megawatt smile on his face, all shades of blue, khaki, green, or orange (boy colors) eager to see Mimi. His giggles are magical, his cries of frustration (which were very few) are devastating but it's hard being so small in a grown up world. As the author Mitch Album learned in his Tuesday's With Morrie, I learned that taking care of Grandson during this unprecedented time gave me a purpose in life for those quarantine days. I doubt that I could love another human being more than I love this smart, energetic, inquisitive little kid.
According to Morrie, "Death ends a life, not a relationship." I pray that when I'm gone, Grandson will continue to have a relationship with the memory of his Mimi. I know I still do with my own Grandmother, so many years after she has passed. Because she took the time to love me unconditionally and make memories at every opportunity.
Debi Tolbert Duggar is the author of 'Riding Soul-O'
Part Memoir, Part Travelogue, Part Spiritual Salvation
Available at Bessieandme.com and online wherever books are sold
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