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Christmas Cookies

"Perfection is the highest form of self-abuse." ~ A Very Wise Woman 

 
Non-Perfect Sugar Cookies
It starts the end of September when the glossy 'women's magazines' line the checkout aisles, their covers depicting Fall decorations; pumpkins that could have been carved by Michelangelo, outlandish Halloween snacks that require hours of assembly, and air brushed sugar cookies that no one in their right mind would dare eat. The publishers of these glossy rags ramp it up for Thanksgiving with dinner tables that look like they were painted by Normal Rockwell himself. And boy, by December they are in full swing with the message: if your holiday table or house doesn't look like this... you are less than perfect. 

 When I was young and stupid I drank the Kool-Aid. One year I bought several expensive hand stamps with ink and a roll of plain white butcher paper. Proceeded to hand stamp/decorate all of my wrapping paper because that is what one particular 'women's magazine' said I should do. I spent hours choosing just the right decorative stamp for each person, carefully placing the stamps on the paper in dizzying patterns, careful not to smudge the ink because if I did I had to start all over. I then displayed the wrapped gifts proudly around the tree, positioned just so with big bows (hand made of course) made from the expensive ribbon that has the little wires running through it. The wrapping was more expensive than the gift inside. And yes, everyone 'ooooo'ed and awww'ed' at the beautiful display, then ripped into the wrapping, tossing it aside with careless abandon; I was crushed. At that time in my life I was suffering from anxiety and the need to be perfect. I also spent hours decorating my toddlers Christmas outfits with fabric paint..... 

 Then I met that 'Very Wise Woman,' who scoffed at my efforts and explained to me the damaging and long-lasting effects of the need to be perfect. She remained in my life long enough to gently talk me down from the precipice I lived on at that time, actually kept me from going over. I am eternally grateful to her for showing me that I didn't have to be perfect for people to love me. 

The glossy Southern Living Magazine with the opulent Christmas decorations filling every room is not where I live. Neither do I have tons of money and a staff of 30 or more decorators who work to make that magazine cover a reality. The air brushed sugar cookies are not for human consumption. And the women who buy into their message need a 'Very Wise Woman' in their life to help them realize it is all to sell magazines. Sure, I like my Christmas decorations, but they are not perfect. My fireplace is compliments of Youtube. And I'm still a stickler for nicely wrapped packages but the paper comes from Walmart after Christmas mark down sale. I decided to write everyone's name on my mis-matched Christmas stockings this year; the glue soaked into the fuzzy fabric, glitter was everywhere in my kitchen and basically they are a disaster. But I hung them up anyway because Grandson thought they were 'perfect!' and went 'Wowwwww!' when I had them all hung. 

Grandson and I made sugar cookies to decorate yesterday. They were also a disaster; the dough was too buttery and difficult to cut, they spread like crazy in the oven so that the shape was indistinguishable, and the round ones spread so much it was just one big cookie on the sheet! But you know what? They tasted so good! The air brushed glossy magazine sugar cookies are mostly flour in order to hold the shape, not mostly butter like Mimi's. 

I have three Christmas cookie cutters that were my grandmother's. She didn't buy into the glossy magazines either; she allowed me to make gooey, lumpy, misshapen cookies then marveled at their taste when we ate them still warm from the oven. I did the same with Grandson yesterday; we even ate them for breakfast this morning....(Shhhhh....don't tell Mom). 

The gift is in making memories with those you love, not the external trappings of perfection. If I could give my own daughters a piece of advice (sometimes they ask, mostly they do not) I would tell them to please not waste their youth on the need to be perfect; celebrate all of your imperfections and make memories with those you love, especially your children who are only young for a nano second. 



I would give anything to spend one more afternoon in my grandmother's kitchen baking Christmas cookies with her. Since that isn't possible, I'll take an afternoon of baking with my grandson as we use grandma's cookie cutters to butcher a whole batch of Christmas cookies. 

Debi Tolbert Duggar
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