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"Sometimes In the Middle of Nowhere, You Find Yourself"


June 27, 2013

Summer Road Trip 2013_Day Seven

Canadian Rockies_SummerRoadTrip2012
“Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere; and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself.”

Home; the place I grew up, the place where my immediate family live....”....the dark ancestral cave, the womb from which mankind emerged into the light, forever pulls one back - but...you can’t go home again...you can’t go...back home to the escapes of Time and Memory. You Can’t Go Home Again.”  Thomas Wolfe, You Can’t Go Home Again

Can I just say, I love my family.  And in terms of the Dysfunctional Meter, my family pegs just slightly right of ‘Average.’ There was a time, especially when Debi drank alcohol in copious quantities, that my family’s Dysfunctional Meter was always pegging strongly to the right - ‘Extreme.’  Those were good times; sobriety and age has its merits I suppose....I sit here in my Dad’s kitchen (not the home of my youth; when my Dad retired, he and Mom moved from Marion to Muncie to be closer to my sister and brother...not ME, but that’s a whole ‘nuther show as Dr. Phil would say) and listen to the clocks tick...literally.  An audible tick - in stereo - counting off the minutes of someone’s life. It would drive me crazy; but I don’t live here anymore, I only visit. As I listen to the clocks counting down ( I mean, it IS ‘down,’ not ‘up,’ right?) I try to ‘go home again.’ And Wolfe is absolutely right.

I am reminded that there is a reason I chose to move 1000 miles away sometime in the late ’70’s. My Dad and I talk weekly, and I make the trip ‘home’ each summer - sometimes during the Holidays as well - and I play the dutiful daughter. Until someone tell’s me I am doing it wrong, I will continue to believe I am doing it right....the dutiful daughter-thing that is. My life today is a direct result of the choices I have made along the way. Period. And I’m okay with all the choices; I don’t always live my life the way others think I should, but I’m okay with that as well. I keep my side of the street clean and I’m only concerned with what I can contain within my hula hoop....if its outside my hula hoop, its not my concern. 

Bessie2 and I saddled up and headed out for a ride .....Delaware County backroads are the best....well, mostly. The corn crop looks like its on track for ‘knee high by the 4th of July,’ and the smell is delicious as we tool along. I don’t know why, but I can never get enough of old barns. I have dozens of photos of barns; strangely though I didn’t stop to take any new ones today. In fact, I have lugged my Canon 5D all this way and not used it once;  it is just easier to use my iPhone. 

I wondered over to Fairmount for two reasons; I always check in on Helen Broyles, Proprietriss of The Record Shop and the new artwork of James Dean.  Not sure if Helen is still selling vinyl - she was ‘old’ when I worked for her and Leo in 1974! - but the last time I checked, she was still there. Store is only open on Saturdays now....okay, we will check then. Just around the corner is the painting - or is it a sculpture? - of James Dean. Its a mural ...by Swedish artist Denimu...who makes all his artwork out of....denim. Way cool. According to the artists’ website, ‘the image, made entirely of denim, is a tribute to Fairmounts’ most famous son, but also acknowledges James Dean’s role in making denim what it is today.” 

I’ve been in Indiana for 24 hours now and haven’t had a BPT (Breaded Pork Tenderloin sandwich), so brother Dave suggests we get together and ride over to Upland (thats another thing I love about Indiana, we always ‘ride’ somewhere to eat!) and visit Ivanhoe’s for a BPT and dessert...they only have 100 desserts to choose from! A chance to spend time with my brother and sister-in-law is always welcome; he stays pretty busy with his job and its always a crap shoot as to whether we even cross paths a couple of times a year.  A week from Monday, he will try his skill again in the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas....go D-Train!

Ivanhoe’s is about the only ‘game in town’ in little ‘ole Upland...home of Taylor University. The BPT was good - probably not THE BEST I’ve had in Indiana - and the company was even better. We have only a short time to catch up on kids, jobs, travel plans and all that family stuff. Hopefully we will get together - briefly - this winter for the Holidays.

“We’re in such a hurry most of the time we never get much chance to talk. The result is a kind of endless day-to-day shallowness, a monotony that leaves a person wondering years later where all the time went and sorry that it’s all gone. ” 
― Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values

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