Skip to main content

Adult Children #Scattered

" Della disconnected the phone after yet another draining conversation with her daughter Crosby.  Crosby is a literary agent in NYC, married to a successful publisher. Crosby frantically juggles her career, their frenetic social obligations and two over-indulged, anxiety ridden children (Della’s grandchildren) leaving very little time for her mother. Della is convinced her daughter makes the obligatory weekly phone call just to have someone to argue with. When Della revealed her plans with Tish and Ann to leave the following week for Sedona in order to spread Bree's ashes, Crosby embarked on a litany of reasons why the trip was a stupid idea for 'three women in their late fifties who have no business riding motorcycles cross country for god sakes.' Her vitriol was damn near palatable across the large chunk of geography between New York and Chicago. Crosby was born willful; straight from the womb she cast dispersion and judgment on Della. And there were times when Della was just bone-weary of her obligations as a mother to her adult children."

In my book #Scattered, the characters Della and Tish struggle with their responsibilities to their adult children. Tish bears the burden of an adult son who committed suicide after spending years locked in his bedroom in Tish's house. He blamed her for divorcing his father. Della struggles with a judgmental daughter and a son lost in denial of his sexuality. Tish is the tender-hearted one who practices unconditional love...no matter what. Della strains under the weight of unconditional love. 

We all have; and if you deny you haven't, I seriously want to hear from you. I don't know a single woman (perhaps men approach their adult children differently - I know my partner Paul does) within my inner circle who has not suffered the heartache of trying to cope with an adult child. Or worse, the anguish of losing their child. Our children hold the power to bring us great joy or unbearable heartache.

When the idea for #Scattered took up residence in my head about seven months ago, I wanted a 'girl-buddy-road-trip-adventure' kind of plot. I created the characters - Della, Bree, Tish, and Ann - by morphing several of my women friends who I have known for twenty years or more. No one character is exactly like someone I know; and yes, if you think I'm writing about you I probably am...as the saying goes!  I love these women and together we have trudged down many roads, seeking answers, seeking refuge, and seeking the acceptance from each other that makes struggling with our adult children so much more bearable. Women's stories need to be told; all the ugly truths, the unsurmountable fears, the tragedies along with the triumphs, the torment and suffering along with the joy. Stories that are so uncomfortable that a writer needs to use fiction...as the truth is sometimes too raw. The stories of my characters in #Scattered are intentional, provocative, and heartbreaking. I hope you come along for the ride.

Debi Tolbert Duggar is the author of 'Riding Soul-O'
Part memoir, part travelogue, part spiritual salvation
Available at Bessieandme.com or online wherever books are sold       


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Waning Light

  There are times I dread the waning light of day, That golden hour which precedes the night. The night brings sad memories. The night brings old terrors. The night brings lonely hours, Sleepless hours, Blackness filled with sorrow. The darkness carries the quiet, the quiet commands the truth. The night accentuates my aloneness; it echoes my fears. The darkness makes me yearn for my children and for my loved ones long gone. The night plays a melancholy tune in my head. The night makes me yearn for the light of day when everything is new once again.                                                                                                     ~ Author: Debi Tolbert Duggar   As a...
Post a Comment
Read more

My Hawaiian Vacay: the Big Island Hawai'i

The first rigorous challenge of the day? Finding coffee. The island doesn't exactly wake up when we do; the complimentary coffee in the room barely fills two micro cups and tastes like someone passed a coffee bean over hot water. Kona is just a little strip along the rocky coast with an assortment of shops and restaurants, so choices are limited. We head out for what turns into our first hike of the day...about a mile and a half until one little coffee shop opens. We sit across from the ocean, gulping our cup of rich Kona blend like the coffee addicts we are. The tour guide picks us up promptly at 715a; Wasabi Tours. If you only have one day to see the island, this is the way to do it. Only 12 tourists and our guide was Aileen, 24, adventuresome, and very knowledgable about her adopted home. She came to Hawai'i on a work exchange while in college then returned to live. She is a computer teacher at one of the elementary schools and part time tour guide. We started on the westwar...
Post a Comment
Read more

#Scattered_TheBox

     Bree sat silent in the passenger seat of Della’s Range Rover as they drove away from the city towards Bree’s farmhouse. Della respected her friends silence, glancing furtively towards Bree, checking for what? Della didn’t know; was there a protocol for ‘how to act when your friend is told she has a few months to live?’ Della wasn’t sure and at this moment her heart hurt as if it were being squeezed by a giant hand intent on crushing the organ in her chest.       Della met Bree Maxwell at the registrar’s office in 1974 at the University of Chicago. Just two long-haired hippie chicks in bell bottom denims and crop tops among thousands, struggling to look cool while simultaneously overwhelmed by the process of registering for classes. The two became fast friends and shortly thereafter they met Tish and Ann, also freshman. The foursome became inseparable and forged a bond that has endured four decades.         Bree is the...
Post a Comment
Read more