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#Scattered

"Della poured the cold remnants of her morning coffee into the sink. She ran the water and slowly, deliberately rinsed her cup, setting it gently into the dish drainer. Her thoughts a million miles away from the automated task at hand. Although Della anticipated throwing her leg over the saddle and chasing the horizon on her solo road trips, she clung to the familiarity of her kitchen, the morning sounds outside the window a symphony to her ears. Most days, Della relished the quiet order of her life. Recently though she felt her world had scattered in too many pieces; Bree was gone, a bright light extinguished too soon and now Della, Trish and Ann were tasked with carrying her ashes to Sedona. 

Della hoped the road trip would enable her to collect the scattered pieces of her life, out there on the lone strip of asphalt. She always found inner peace and redemption in the wind."

Like Della, I have felt too long scattered; a piece of my existence over there, another piece lays beyond, and more pieces in places I cannot even see yet. It seems fear and the unknown have ruled the last four months. Fear of a virus that kept me homebound as I watched the world reel from its effects. The final quarter of our school year was fraught with the unknown; children and families were devastated, some will never return to our community and the uncertainty of the impact of distance learning will not be measured for several months to come. 

Bessie and me are headed to Sedona, Arizona - the destination for Della, Tish, and Ann - to research my current book project #Scattered. I struggled with the decision to leave as the pandemic is still present although overshadowed by revolution in the streets. A virus still lurks, which has given me pause for concern. I do fear getting sick - god forbid don't let it be so far away from home - but I fear not living even more. I have vowed to take every precaution while traveling.

I am weary of social media - there, I've said it. Social media seems to be a necessary evil for an independent author. However, I've had way too much time to sit and rage against injustice in every way, shape and form on social media. It does me no good. Social media is controlled by a few to manipulate many. Bots and trolls direct the narrative; lighting small fires then sitting back and watching as we the people furiously try to stamp out the blaze by attacking each other. Even with this awareness I join in the hysteria, whirling in the drama that isn't even mine. I need to unplug the rage and focus on my creative endeavor...writing. 

"Della knows she finds her focus astride her motorcycle. She needs to engage in that which feeds her soul. Operating her motorcycle keeps her in the moment; arriving safely from point A to point B is all she needs to focus on, one day at a time. Her motorcycle is her muse. She hasn't written a book worth publishing in a few years, her creative well has run dry. Della needs a story and she is praying this road trip to honor her friend Bree's dying wish will be the catalyst her creative juices need."

Like Della, I grasp and hold onto my best words in the wind. I am able to stay in the 'now,' my thoughts take shape as the miles unfurl behind me. My fears dissipate, my angst is tempered, and my soul is revitalized. 'Whatever it is, it is better in the wind.'

I hope you follow my blog as #Scattered takes shape; it is a blank canvas ready for the first brushstrokes.


Debi Tolbert Duggar is the author of the book 'Riding Soul-O'
Available on the author's website and online wherever books are sold
Website: Bessieandme.com

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