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#Scattered_Day 5

" Della knew that Ann's life with Lars and with the world at large, was not always honest. God, how can someone stuff their real self, their true sexuality for so many years? Why wouldn't a person so stifled develop compulsions and fears? At the age of 54, Lars, Ann's husband of 30 years drops dead of a heart attack; slumped across the keyboard of his CAD system, his lunch untouched on the desk. Ann was
saddened of course, but she hardly grieved. Della remembers the memorial service; Ann was not outright jubilant but she was somehow more relaxed, comfortable in her own skin. At last she was able to free herself from the shackles of the fictitious existence that defined her life with Lars. Della remembers to night at dinner, shortly after Lars memorial service, Ann revealed to her and Tish that she loves women. Ann described her experience (not in graphic detail, but enough) with her college roommate so many years ago, and looked Della in the eye, and admitted she has known that she is a lesbian." 

The 39 degree temp this morning startled me; I've been this route before and endured 100 + degree heat! I pack cold gear everywhere I go; if you stay in any elevation at all you will have a chilly morning. By 8am it started to warm up and definitely by the time I arrived in Sedona, I was desperate to shed a couple layers!

I40 from Albuquerque to Gallup is fairly remote. There are a number of quirky 'must-see' Route 66 attractions along this route. The Jack Rabbit Trading Post, The Petrified Forest, The Wigwam Hotel, and my favorite the El Rancho Motel (in Gallup). The only stop I made on Route 66 today was the Continental Divide. I love geography! Surprisingly, the divide is the highest point on Route 66 at 7, 263 feet elevation (and my character Ann would be happy as the ascension in elevation is so subtle, so gradual, you hardly realize you are 'climbing'). On the west side of the divide water flows to the Pacific Ocean; on the east side of the divide water flows to the Atlantic Ocean. Amazing.

I was so relieved to exit I40 onto 89A to Sedona! Too much super slab, even the remote parts. Surrounded by Ponderosa pine, the fresh, smooth asphalt immediately becomes twisty turny! Very quickly there are 15 mph switchbacks descending down towards Sedona. I was so focused on the switchbacks that when I had a chance to glance around, I saw the giant red rocks jutting towards the sky. Reminds me of The Gardens of the Gods outside of Colorado Springs.  

I don't like the traffic; this is a tiny little town reminiscent of Aspen or Banff and cars are everywhere. I finally wind my way towards the Airbnb, taking note of small shops and restaurants along my route. I approach the address and see gravel everywhere so I cautiously park on the side of the street until I make sure this is it. I'm standing next to my bike looking for the 'private entrance' and my phone rings.Its the hostess (maybe she IS clairvoyant! But no, she heard the bike) telling me where to park and which direction to walk and she will be out shortly to 'greet me.' Well okay. Although the place is charming and quiet, it is in NO WAY like the pictures. I had the same experience in Belize when we secured an Airbnb. 

The hostess is exactly like I pictured her and when I told her that she said, 'You mean an Old Hippie Chick Earth Mother?' Yes, that's exactly what I pictured! I confessed my Old Hippie Chick status as well, just not much of the Earth Mother, more like Biker Bitch. She laughed. She spent several minutes 'getting me settled' as she put it and reiterating all the 'rules.' Tha'ts the thing with Airbnb's...lots of rules. I thanked her, anxious to make a run for lunch and provisions before settling in for a shower and quiet.

I didn't realize how utterly tired I am until I relaxed on the private veranda to write this blog. The arid heat, the tinkling wind chimes, the hummingbirds flitting in/out, the soft gongy-type music all contributed to a drowsy, hypnotic state of mind. Maybe that's part of the magic vibe.

" Over the years as Ann stuffed her sexuality and denied her desires she developed certain compulsions. Della didn't think Ann's 'quirks' were debilitating, just annoying. And maybe Della failed to pay attention as to just how debilitating they were. Of course Ann didn't like mountains because she couldn't see around the blind curves. Ann had avoided blind curves all her life; what if someone finds out?"

Debi Tolbert Duggar is the author of 'Riding Soul-O'
Part Memoir, Part Travelogue, Part Spiritual Salvation
Available at Bessieandme.com or online wherever books are sold

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