Another Trip Around the Sun

It seems Mr. Buffet has been around to help me navigate the waters of turning 40:

"Yes I am a pirate, two hundred years too late
The cannons don't thunder, there's nothing to plunder
I'm an over-forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late
I've done a bit of smuggling, I've run my share of grass
I made enough money to buy Miami, but I pissed it away so fast
Never meant to last, never meant to last."

And again as I take another trip around the sun arriving at 65:

"I'm just hangin' on while this old world keeps spinning
And it's good to know it's out of my control
If there's one thing that I've learned from all this livin'
Is that it wouldn't change a thing if I let go."

No matter, Jimmy and I are both still kicking, still rocking, still rolling, still writing and still enjoying life! Maybe, like me, Jimmy is just trying to make sense of where all the time goes when it passes us by.

When I was 30, 65 was ancient. 

When I was 40, 65 was ancient. 

When I was 50, 65 was STILL ancient. 

Now that I've arrived, 65 is the new 40. 

I don't feel it; whatever 65 is supposed to FEEL like. My mental age is still somewhere back there in my early 30's only with a good deal of common sense and life experience mixed in. 

Each year I try to reflect on my 'trip around the sun,' and practice gratitude.

I can always be grateful for my health; I've been attentive to my physical well-being most of my life. I have some bad habits, but at 65, I'm a little too comfortable with them to let them go. 

It took me me 58 years to find a partner in life that makes it easy to be me; for that I'm grateful.

I adore my grandson Beckham; I am grateful I can be an integral part of his life. His little face, his eager smile, his inquisitive nature bring me unbridled joy each time he tumbles through the door! 

I published a book on this trip around the sun! And I started on my second literary endeavor. I've waited decades to be able to devote my time to writing. And here I am.

I learned to let go; that which I cannot control, those I love, that which brings me pain, those who generate angst, that which disrupts my spiritual harmony and those people, places, and things which no longer serve to feed my soul.

I learned to hang on; to those I love, to my integrity, to joy, to pursuing that which feeds my soul, to my sanity, to what is real, and to the belief that somehow what I do matters.

I learned to appreciate; the quiet, my grandsons' giggles, alone time, unexpected travel plans, making new connections, the company of women and my partners' unwavering support.

Since this year's trip around the sun involved a global pandemic, I learned 'doing nothing,' is never really 'doing nothing.' The quiet, easy time with my grandson was the probably the greatest gift. Lazy days with no rush, no hurry in which we fed the cows, took long walks, threw sticks into the pond, marveled at the Sandhill Crane chick, played in the dirt, drew on the sidewalk with chalk and watched "The Greatest Showman" multiple times! I also realized in the time of quarantine I can do without make-up, nails, haircut, pedicure, designer coffee, restaurant food, theater, and 'lets do lunch.' 

Time is fleeting; that is the aspect of aging that startles me so and wrenches my heart with sorrow at times. So fleeting. I am reminded to grab each day with both hands and wring every bit of living out of that day that I can. I watched my daughter celebrate her 29th birthday a few days ago. She marveled that it was 'the last year of her 20's.' I looked at her, my eyes misty (as they are now) and thought to myself, 'Girl, you have no idea!'